Relative Desperation
by Inuzuka Ashton
Summary: Uchihacest. It's Sasuke's 16 birthday, which he's been dreading. Someone from his past returns into his life. Sasuke tries to balance his love and hate. ItachixSasuke & implied KakashixSasuke one-shot.


AN: So this idea came out of nowhere, but incest was crying to be written,

What really inspired this one-shot though was the song Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy  
It helps to listen to it continuously while reading (x

**note:(**itachi may be a tad out of character...buuut, deal with it :D**)**

Formally disclaiming MK's Naruto series & characters. xD

**R&R, pweeze :3 **

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_Oh sweet slumber, carry the fallen into oblivion.  
We'll live in fantasies of our own, until dawn's wake._

_Sleep, promise to take us away from the over dramatics._

Sasuke stirred from his sleep, fighting to remain in his serenity. He never wanted to wake up, not if it meant he had to face the day that lay ahead. His 16th birthday was getting closer with every wake of each morning, now only a day away. Of course, for everyone else this would be a day of celebration and rejoice, but not for Sasuke, and not only because he was purposely trying to be sour and grumpy. Sasuke feared this day when it would come, manhood would be beckoning to him, forcing him to leave behind his childhood. Usually, he'd be glad to leave behind the broken pieces of his early days, but this meant giving up on the hope he still held faintly in his heart. The hope that someone who had forsaken him in the past would one day come back into his life before he grew up to shelter the still innocent child he harbored deep within himself. As much as he'd tried to get rid of the foolish hopefulness, there was something so deeply engraved that would never let go of his dim hope.  
Sasuke finally awoke, finding he could no longer contain his sleep. He had already decided upon training alone the entire day, avoiding anyone who would try to encounter him. The following day though, he'd be sure to disappear from the village entirely. Maybe collapse in a faraway field, and fall into his much-needed oblivion of sleep.

He had his itinerary for the next couple days planned, now he could get up from his bed and stop feeling sorry for himself.

He readied himself for the day; showering, getting dressed, eating, then was out the door, heading towards the forest.

He dashed quickly for the woods that had been calling to him since early morning, but someone calling his name behind him had interrupted his trek. He glanced behind him to find Sakura waving him down. He ran faster, zigzagging between shrubs and hedges, trying to escape her line of vision. He looked back again, making sure to have cleared from her sight. But that wasn't his only obstacle. When he turned to face the path he'd been running on, he was stopped abruptly, crashing into a person who'd been standing in his way. Sasuke's eyes focused on the man that stood before him, his sensei.

"Kakashi-sensei….What do you want?"

"Sakura and I have been chasing you for five minutes now. Why didn't you stop?"

"Maybe 'cause I don't feel like seeing anybody…"

"Well, I understand why you wouldn't want to see Sakura…She's been badgering you all week about what you wanted for your birthday. But, come on Sasuke…What have I done?" Kakashi spoke all a little too flirtatious.

"Oh, no. Not you too….I already told Sakura I didn't want anything."

"Oh, come on Sasuke….I have the perfect gift in mind."

Sasuke gave his sensei a sideways glance and a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe a little repeat of last year's Christmas…eh?"

Sasuke pushed past his sensei, walking towards the forest.

"Sasuke….you know it's an offer you can't refuse. Don't you remember how magical it was?"

Sasuke could feel his sensei grinning under his mask, even from a distance.

"Yep…Listen, Kakashi-sensei maybe some other time. Besides I won't even be around tomorrow."

Sasuke was careful not to let him know of his plans to leave the village, but he'd already said too much. He whooshed away into the forest going at full speed, but slowed his pace once he realized Kakashi wasn't following him.

He ran through the forest for hours, trying to clear his mind of everything and everyone.

After he spent the whole day hopping trees, ducking branches and practicing his chakra control, he saw it fit to finally retire to his rooms. It was well into the night by the time he got home. Sasuke was so exhausted he collapsed onto his bed at first sight of it. He planned to shower before bed, but found that the events of the day took their toll on his body, thus letting sleep gradually claim him.

The next morning, an insistent knocking on his door awakened Sasuke. He wasn't expecting anyone to come by so early in the morning. Dawn's first rays of sun hadn't even shone into his room yet. He had been planning to leave before sunrise, not giving anyone a chance to see him leave. After a while the knocking on the door ceased, and returned louder at his bedroom window. He could make out a face through the window, a mask rather, and silvery wisps of hair. It had to be Kakashi, but what would he want so early in the morning, and why had he been so insistent? Kakashi then started hissing Sasuke's name, in a whispery tone. It seemed as if he was trying not to get caught by someone or something, leaving Sasuke to conclude that he hadn't stopped by for just anything. Sasuke walked towards his window, opening it to let his sensei in.

"It would've been nice to use the door, Sasuke…" Kakashi rubbed his head, where he had hit it on the way in through the window.

"Yeah….." Sasuke was still half-asleep, swaying while he stood.

"Well, you're probably wondering what I'm doing here so early…" Kakashi seated himself on Sasuke's bed, motioning Sasuke to do the same.

"Sensei, I thought I told you yesterday…."

"No, Sasuke. You might want to sit down for the news I have brought you. I come to you in urgency, as did the other jounin who woke me this morning. About an hour earlier, a few watch guards spotted a man entering the village gates."

"…And?"

"Sasuke, I believe Itachi has returned."

Any trace of sleep in Sasuke's body had instantly dispersed, leaving him wide-awake and staring in shock at his sensei. He had to have been dreaming, but everything felt so real around him. He looked around his room, feeling the sheets on his bed, and touching Kakashi's hand. It was all real, leaving Sasuke to believe he was going insane with hallucinations.

"Sasuke…?"

"Sensei's voice too…It's all real." Sasuke spoke aloud to himself, and pondered this realization before speaking again.

"Sensei, what is going on…Why is here?"

"I don't know, he claims to be returning peacefully intending no harm to anyone. Lady Tsunade has him under interrogation as we speak. Whatever he's here for Sasuke, you had better believe I'm here to protect you. I will not let him harm you. I will also not let you put yourself into harm by challenging him, leave it to me."

Kakashi used a tone of utmost sincerity, one that Sasuke had grown very fond of. After all, Kakashi was the only person Sasuke had ever trusted besides his brother. He successfully filled the void in his heart, but recently not even he could cloud Sasuke's pain. For the past few months, he avoided spending time with him, allowing himself to give into his pain alone.

"That won't be necessary Sensei. I'm leaving the village for a few days. I need time to clear my thoughts."

"Well, alright but don't leave until afternoon. I need a chance to figure out what Itachi's intentions are. Then I'll be ready to leave with you."

"Uhh, sensei…I was planning on going alone."

"Oh. Then in that case, I forbid you to leave Konoha without my supervision. Just wait here until I come back, okay?"

"Sure…"

"And, um, you might want to shower."

Sasuke looked down at his dirt-streaked clothes, remembering he'd forgotten to shower upon returning the night before.

Kakashi stood up to leave, walking towards the window he'd come in through, with Sasuke trailing behind. Before leaving, Kakashi looked down at his student, slightly brushing his cheek with long fingers. He stared into sleep-deprived eyes full of innocence and worry. After a long while of staring into his eyes, Kakashi decided upon leaning down to give Sasuke a soft peck on the lips, his personal way of reassuring Sasuke of his trust.

"Happy Birthday, Sasuke."

Kakashi's presence lingered in the room long after he left. Sasuke had felt himself falling for his sensei over the years, and shared many kisses with the man, but for some reason this one had felt like one bidding farewell. Even though Sasuke had allowed himself to love his sensei throughout his lonely years, he'd always known he wasn't in love with him. There was only one person he'd ever allow himself to be in love with, and even now he was trying to fight the love he felt for this person.

Sasuke waited through the morning into the afternoon, not moving from his place at his bed. Something inside wanted to wait for Kakashi, but not to leave town with him, only to hear from him, about his brother. He cursed himself for even wanting to know anything about him, but he couldn't help but wonder why he would return into his life, especially on his 16th birthday.

Sasuke finally moved from his bed when he heard a light tapping at his door. He'd been expecting Kakashi at his window, but rushed to the door anyway. He swung the door open to find his brother standing in his doorway. Sasuke didn't speak, he just stared and blinked blankly. Itachi did the same, until finally breaking the silence.

"Sasuke…."

Sasuke came to his senses and turned his blank expression into one of rage. He was about to slam the door in his brother's face, but Itachi was one step ahead of him, already holding it open with one hand.

"Wait! I need to speak with you."

Sasuke turned away and walked into his room, leaving Itachi by his door. He heard the click of his front door close, signaling Itachi had followed him into his house.

"Sasuke, I have come to see you and this is how you treat me"

"You're lucky I don't kill you right now…"

"Please Sasuke, such hostility towards your older brother..."

Sasuke turned to face him with hate-filled eyes.

"When did you turn so hateful Sasuke? I see you still harbor great distaste for my decision to leave you behind…?"

"Itachi, I swear if you don't get the fuck out my house within the next three seconds, I will have your head."

Itachi sighed, and turned to leave.

"Fine, Sasuke. But we'll have to speak sometime today, I'll be waiting for you to calm down…" he grabbed for the door.

"By the way, nii-san…Happy birthday."

Sasuke stood with clenched fists, staring down at his unmade bed. Itachi was so calm, and spoke so casually, as if nothing ever happened.

Sasuke made his bed, showered, and grabbed a bite to eat before leaving his house.

He walked around for a while, looking for his brother. He rested at a bench beside a fountain after searching for a solid half hour.

He dropped his head into his hands, trying to clear his mind of any thoughts. He wondered why he was looking for his brother, he thought about why Kakashi never returned, and he thought about why he hadn't yet left the village as he planned. He couldn't explain why, he had no reasons for anything anymore. For some strange reason he only had the desire to do something he hadn't thought about in years. All he wanted to do now was lay in his brother's arms, free of the worries of the world. Sasuke shook this thought from his head instantly. When he looked up, he noticed someone watching him from a distance. The person walked closer, coming into Sasuke's line of vision. His dark eyes connected with bright red ones. Just as he'd been hoping, it was his brother. Itachi neared him, sitting next to him on the bench. Unexpectedly, he placed a hand on Sasuke's leg. Sasuke looked down at it, not knowing what to think at first, then brushed it aside after an awkward moment passed.

Itachi was surprised at how casual Sasuke was being, and decided this moment was the best to speak, if any.

"Sasuke, first I'd like to say I'm sorry for not being there for you when I should have been. I don't expect you to forgive me…I just wanted to make sure you were okay all this time. You're nearing adulthood, little brother, and I wanted to make sure you didn't make wrong decisions, as I have. Although, some things I've done were for the better…"

Sasuke had been sitting still, listening to his brother all this time, but when he mentioned the delicate subject of his departure so many years ago, Sasuke was driven with fury. He stood up to leave.

"For the better, huh? Whatever, Itachi. Don't think you can show up out of nowhere trying to tell me what to do. And don't you ever think that I'd ever grow up to be like you. I'd never be the kind of failure you turned out to be…"

Sasuke said his last few words before dashing off into the woods. He expected Itachi to be following closing behind, but not at such a high speed, he was gaining on him, fast. Sasuke stopped at a clearing in the forest, running out of breath. He was having a harder time breathing than normal, he usually would've made it a little farther at the speed he was going. It was apparent he'd never outrun Itachi, and he had to catch his breath eventually. As expected, Itachi stopped at the other side of the clearing, facing Sasuke. He didn't even look out of breath.

"Sasuke, please stop running from me. You can run forever but I'll always be following close behind. I need to watch over you and lead you into a better life. I need to make sure you do the right thing, Sasuke. Will you please listen to me, and stop being so stubborn?"

"I will do what I want, Never what you tell me." Sasuke caught his breath, and regulated his breathing.

"Sasuke, please understand my reasoning…-"

"No. You've ruined my life once before. You don't control what happens to me anymore. It's time for me to take charge." Sasuke turned to face the large willow behind him, lowering his head to the tree's roots as he prepared himself to speak. He tried to prevent his solid voice from faltering as he spoke.

"Besides, I don't know why you care so much. It's not like you ever have before…"

Itachi must've moved stealthily to have gotten behind Sasuke and hold him in place without having him notice. He was afraid he might get away from him again, but when Itachi went to place a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, Sasuke shrugged him off instantly, not missing a beat.

"Little brother, I have always cared for you and it pains me to hear you think different. I understand why you would despise my mere existence, but dear brother I have returned for the sole reason of seeing to it that you make the right decisions in life" Itachi paused, feeling Sasuke grow more upset with each word.

Itachi leaned over Sasuke, keeping a firm hold on him, he needed to be closer to him as he continued his next bit.

"Sasuke…You know that's not the only reason I've been keeping track of you all these years. Dear brother, you are finally at the age where I think you can fully comprehend."

Itachi swept strands of blue-black hair from Sasuke's face behind his ear.

"I am confessing my love to you, Sasuke. You are no longer a young boy, I expect you to have a viable enough state of mind to understand this isn't your ordinary sibling's affection. Sasuke, I am in love with you, and I need you to accept me into your heart. So I come to you in question, Will you let me love you?"

Sasuke turned to face Itachi, which was the biggest mistake he could've made, considering there wasn't more than an inch of space between both their faces. Consequently, their lips met. Sasuke had accidentally led himself to the kiss between him and his brother.

Sasuke felt his eyes involuntarily slip closed, and for an instant, everything felt right, his world had successfully achieved momentary equilibrium. Just as time stopped for that split second, tranquility came crashing down with the realization of just how wrong this was. Sasuke couldn't bring himself to explain why something so special would feel right with the person he'd brought himself to loathe. He always resented his brother for deciding to abandon him, even though he never understood why he made such a painful decision. He was left heartbroken, because unlike his brother thought, he did in fact understand the bond they shared wasn't a brotherly one. Even though he was young, he understood his feelings that were unnaturally strong towards his brother. Precisely why he couldn't let himself get hung up on the same person who had hurt and deceived him so long ago. He worked so hard to forget his love for his brother, turning it into hatred and resentment. All to have it crushed, bringing the heartbreak flooding back with one single re-encounter. He had to get away from him, before it was too late. Otherwise, he'd be setting himself up for a second chance at devastation, and he wasn't sure he could deal with that again…No, the second time around would be much worse, there'd be no more Sasuke left in him. His personality would be torn to shreds in desperation, Sasuke was sure he was saving himself when he pushed his brother away and staggered back, preparing to run.

He didn't take off instantly as he planned. Instead, he stood in paralysis gaping at his brother with hurt eyes full of innocence. He started shaking his head and taking small steps backwards, until he tripped on a root, causing him to fall on the ground. He sat messily sprawled on the forest ground, grabbing at fistfuls of his midnight hair in frustration.

"No, No, NO!" Sasuke was now yelling at the ground.

He stopped his shouting and replaced it with maniacal laughter, slowly looking up at his brother, who watched in concern from a distance.

"'Love me'?! You've never loved me…Please tell me, big brother Itachi, why?

Why have you always pretended to love me? Why would you…curse me with unrequited love?!" Sasuke was at his breaking point, on the verge of tears.

His body shuddered in violent convulsions as memories flashed through his mind, memories of the years he spent alone, waiting for his brother to return to him. He cowered in fear for so long, remaining vulnerable, waiting desperately for his big brother to rescue him and shield him from the world. He was the only thing he had, and he built his life around trying to forget the only thing that kept him sane, his love for Itachi.

The day he finally suppressed his feelings for his brother and memories of him altogether was the day he last felt any emotion. The day he bid farewell to his almost lover, he made sure to remind himself of all the pain he'd caused him, an eternal reminder. He plunged a kunai into his skin, slashing the flesh on the left side of his chest, leaving a gash the length of his fist, which in theory, had to be the size of the heart that lay beneath the torn tissue, beating in a broken hymn. Every time he'd look in a mirror, or see his bare reflection in a river he'd look into the reflection of a wandering soul, searching for its purpose.

Little did Sasuke know what his brother felt throughout the years of his misery. Itachi couldn't even bare to look at his reflection throughout the years, if he did he'd break the glass or dry out the rivers. He couldn't bear to stare back at the face of a failure, he had failed his brother, and never forgave himself, even though he knew it was for the better. He couldn't keep away from him for too long, so he monitored everything that happened in Sasuke's life, promising himself to return to him one day, and right his wrongs. There was no reason for Sasuke to welcome him with open arms, which he wasn't expecting in the least. Itachi had decided upon returning to Sasuke when the talk of him seeking Itachi's death had subsided, but he still felt hesitant when he heard the reason Sasuke gave up trying to kill him. As a direct quote from one of his investigators, Sasuke had already proclaimed Itachi dead in his eyes.

Itachi thought back on all of this as he took small steps toward his brother, being cautious not to upset him. When he reached him, he let himself drop to his knees in front of him.

Itachi let his fingertips ghost on Sasuke's cheek, wiping a single tear that quickly dispersed on his fingertip, crystallizing the grey tinted fingernail.

"Little brother, I don't know why you doubt me…but I can say I truly do love you."

Sasuke mumbled under his breath inaudibly, making it hard for Itachi to make out his words.

"…?"

"I SAID I DON'T LOVE YOU!" Sasuke pushed his hand away from his face in rage.

"Do you want to see, 'dear big brother'…What you have done to me, hm?!"

Sasuke now tore off his shirt exposing milky skin, and wrinkled pinkish folds of flesh in the shape of a slash on his chest. He pounded his chest crazily, showing Itachi just what he drove him to do. Sasuke reached to his side, drawing a single kunai from his pouch on his folded legs.

"THIS…Dear Itachi, is how it feels being abandoned…This is what true heart break feels like!" Sasuke had been pointing the kunai in Itachi's direction as he spoke.

Itachi had been anticipating a painful slash on his face at any moment, instead he flinched when Sasuke drove the kunai into his own chest, gliding across the scar.

"You coming back here….has re-opened a long sealed wound, Itachi. Take responsibility for healing it this time…" Sasuke's words trailed off as he collapsed into Itachi's arms, fainting of blood loss. At that moment, a light drizzle came upon the wooded region. Itachi lay perfectly still, gaping at his unconscious brother in his arms, blood seeping onto his arms dripping on the forest floor. The vivid color of Sasuke's blood canvassed across his pale chest, perfectly conveying the contrast of the love and hate the boy felt towards his brother.

Itachi laid Sasuke down on the forest floor, and lay himself right beside him. He covered his brother's wound with one hand, letting the continuous flow of blood outpour onto his hand.

"I cannot mend a broken heart, but I can put one out of its misery. Sasuke, now I can promise to never leave you. As I will lay here with you, for eternities to come… "

Itachi kept true to his word and laid with Sasuke for years to come, in the same place they took their last breaths so many years ago.

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**Yep, they both died.  
I cried reading my own fic x)  
How insane am I??**

**idk, review anyway though :)  
**


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